


The Very Worst Part Of You

by MaliceManaged



Category: Loki: Agent of Asgard
Genre: A+ Parenting, Accidental Homicide, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, And all that fun stuff, Angst, Arson, Breaking and Entering, Eventual Romance, Eventual Sex, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, I have no idea what I'm doing, Theft, Will probably add tags as I go, it's not one of mine if there's no angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-28
Updated: 2018-03-01
Packaged: 2019-03-25 06:53:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13828848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaliceManaged/pseuds/MaliceManaged
Summary: He tried to change for them and all he got was a cage of his own (sort of) design; and so Loki did what any responsible adult (sort of) would do in that situation: He ran. Washed his hands clean of them all and ran. The Nine will just have to take care of itself.Now if only life would stop putting him in a position to save someone at great personal risk...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was mostly inspired by a dream, and I only have a vague idea of where I want it to go, so updates will probably be slow going. Then again, the same can be said about most of my fics. My muse is an asshole and I have no control over my mind. I iz sorry.

    He wasn’t sure why he was standing outside the abandoned factory alone in the middle of the night after maybe a few too many cocktails (cliché much?), but there he was. He’d been celebrating his not-quite-birthday with his not-quite-friends and had gotten bored, so he left the bar and wandered town. He didn’t even like this place; it was small and suffocating, and everybody seemed to know each other and everybody could tell there was something not quite right about him. But he had nowhere else to be (not quite true, but we don’t talk about _that_ ) and he wouldn’t be much of a Silvertongue if he couldn’t convince a few people to at least tolerate him, would he?

 

    _Loki, my dear, I do believe it’s time to pack it in and move along,_ he thought to himself then let out a slightly drunken giggle without having any idea why.

 

    With that in mind, he turned and began heading back towards the house he was... borrowing, until a loud crash made him stop in his tracks. He considered leaving anyway - _Why in Hel would you go into the empty building by yourself like every shitty horror movie you’ve ever seen?_ his mind supplied - but then he heard what he was pretty sure was a person yelling. Ignoring his mind’s protest that he was very much _not a hero;_ Loki turned and ran into the building.

 

***

 

    There were many thoughts rushing through her mind as she frantically scrambled backwards from the man currently advancing at her with a switchblade in his hand, mainly centred around how it had come to this and how she was getting out of it alive. Her head was still throbbing painfully from the man leading her there by a fistful of her blonde hair and her forearms and knees stung with the scratches his tossing her to the concrete floor had resulted in.

 

    _Well, way to go, Lan; you managed to get us killed in, what, two months? Gotta be some kind of record,_ her mind unhelpfully snarked.

 

    _Oh, do shut up,_ she snapped back.

 

    _No, no, this is wonderful! You managed to defy even pathetically low expectations! That’s-_ the thought was cut off as the man before her was suddenly shoved off to the side, meeting the wall with a startled yell and rather loud crack.

 

***

 

    He hadn’t really come up with anything vaguely resembling a plan as he found the source of the sound he’d heard; he saw the girl on the floor, the man advancing on her with a blade, and just reacted, sprinting towards the man and pushing him into the wall. Perhaps a bit harder than was strictly necessary, if the crack and the way the man slumped heavily to the floor, twitching once or twice then lying eerily still, was any indication.

 

_Oh-_

 

    “Shit,” Loki swore as his mind caught up to everything, “Shit, shit, shit. _Fuck.”_

 

    “Is he dead?” she asked softly and he looked towards her.

 

    “Yes. He is.”

 

    “Oh, shit.”

 

    Loki made a choked noise that could generously be called a laugh. “Well, this is wonderful.”

 

    “Well, I mean; it was an accident, right? And he was going to kill me, so...”

 

    “Like anyone is going to believe that once they take one look at me.” Loki ran his hands through his hair frustratedly. “This is precisely the kind of attention I don’t need.” He turned towards her again and looked her over. “Are you alright?”

 

    “Yeah, just a few scratches.”

 

    _Liar,_ her mind chimed.

 

    _Quiet,_ she hissed, earning a scoff in response.

 

    He stepped closer to her to help her up then they looked back at the wall and their current dilemma. The man was definitely dead; there had been a nail on the wall where his head had connected, and even without it the sheer force he’d hit the wall with was enough to snap something by Loki’s still somewhat fuzzy reasoning. He really needed to keep in mind how breakable humans could be better.

 

   “We could just leave,” she suggested after a moment, “How will anyone even know we were ever here?”

 

    “You mean besides our fingerprints?”

 

    She was silent for a while. “Fire gets rid of fingerprints, right?”

 

    Loki looked at her mildly incredulous, mostly at how matter-of-factly she’d said that, then looked back at the body. “... Oh, what the Hel; what’s a little arson at this point?”

 

    And that was how they found themselves standing on a hill a few miles away, watching as the factory went up in flames. They were fairly sure it wouldn’t spread; the building was rather apart from the rest of the town and it wasn’t very windy that night.

 

   She turned him after a while and held out her hand. “I’m Alanis, by the way.”

 

    “Loki,” he replied without thinking as he took it.

 

    Her eyes widened slightly. “Wait, you don’t mean...?”

 

    “Yes; _that_ Loki.”

 

    She stared at him for a moment. “I thought you’d be, I dunno... older.”

 

    He let out a slight laugh. “I was. And then I died, and came back. And then I sort of died again, and sort of came back again, and became something else... It’s a little complicated.”

 

    That got him an odd look. “... Right.”

 

    “Do you have any cash on you?”

 

    She blinked at the change of subject. “Some. Why?”

 

    “I took what was in his wallet, but it wasn’t much.”

 

    “... And?” she prompted when she realised he wasn’t going elaborate.

 

    “I’m drunk, so bus tickets cost money.”

 

    “Pretty sure bus tickets cost money regardless of sobriety levels.”

 

    “Not to me, they don’t,” he replied with a wink then took hold of her hand and tugged her with him.

 

    “Why am I going with you?”

 

    “Do you have somewhere else to be?”

 

    “Well... no.”

 

    “Well, there you go.”

 

    She opened her mouth then closed it, deciding to just go with it, at least for now.

 

***

 

    They just managed to board the last bus of the night and he dozed most the way to the next town over with his head on her shoulder, drawing fond looks and soft smiles from the elderly couple a few seats over, who clearly thought they were eloping or something. When they got off, he led them to an empty house (how he could even tell, he didn’t say and she didn’t ask) and promptly broke in. They made themselves at home, mostly by helping themselves to a really quite well-stocked liquor cabinet.

 

    “How did you even end up like that, anyway?” Loki asked, sitting across from her on the floor leaning against the wall while she leaned against the side of a couch, a few bottles of assorted liquors between them.

 

    “My adoptive parents are assholes and I’m an idiot,” Alanis replied with a sloppy shrug. She wasn’t quite as drunk as he was, but she was definitely getting there.

 

    He seemed to find this funny, breaking into giggles and almost toppling forward. “Hey, me too!” he finally managed.

 

    “Goodie for us, then,” she replied sarcastically, bringing the bottle of vodka in her hand to her lips and draining what was left of it.

 

    He stared at her for a long while, enough to earn a questioning look, and leaned forward onto his hands. “You are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen,” he said with the seriousness only the highly inebriated can manage.

 

    She snorted amusedly and reached for another bottle of... something, she didn’t really check. “You’re wasted,” she replied, opening the bottle and taking a swig, gagging slightly at the taste. “Oh, this is bad,” she groaned, tossing the bottle aside then seeming to realise what she did and watched the contents spill onto the floor, soaking the carpet, “Oops.”

 

    “I’m serious,” Loki insisted, seeming quite upset by her disbelief.

 

    “I’ll bet,” she giggled then stood up, swaying a bit and bracing herself on the couch until the room stopped spinning. “I’m tired; I’m going to bed. You coming?”

 

    “Ideally,” he replied with a lopsided grin.

 

    “Oh, my god,” she groaned, burying her face in her hands, causing him to burst out laughing and fall to the side, which in turn caused her to laugh.

 

    “I would join you,” he said when they finally managed to stop laughing, “But I don’t really trust my legs at the moment.”

 

    She rolled her eyes and walked around the bottles to him, offering her hands. He looked at them a bit dubiously then took them and she pulled him up to a sitting position. Getting him off the floor was a much more difficult feat, but she managed it after several tries and half dragged him to the nearest bedroom. She meant to drop him off and go to the other room across the hall, but he held onto her when she pushed him onto the bed and took her with him.

 

    “The hell, dude; get off me!” she cried, trying to push him off as he basically wrapped himself around her like an overly-affectionate octopus.

 

    “Please, stay,” he slurred, burying his face in her hair.

 

    Maybe it was her drunkenness, maybe it was how much like a lonely child he sounded, maybe it was her own need for company, but she stopped trying to push him away. “Can I at least take off my bra?”

 

    In response he slipped a hand under her shirt and undid the clasp, loosening his hold enough for her to wriggle out of the garment, and she muttered a ‘thanks’ that was only slightly sarcastic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The 'overly-affectionate octopus' thing was shamelessly borrowed from [GaryTheFish](http://archiveofourown.org/users/GaryTheFish) (at least I think that's how she put it) because I honestly can't think of a more perfect description for this clingy little shit. Go read her stuff while you're at it; it's awesome.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I could hold onto this chapter a bit longer, until I build up a slight buffer. I could. But I won't.
> 
> Who needs update schedules and basic organisation anyway? Not me! Let chaos reign! MAYHEM!!
> 
> ...... er... yeah. Anyway... Because the power went out for, like, two hours, I wrote the second half of this chapter on my tablet, which does not give me a word count. As a result, this chapter turned out a bit longer than the last one without my noticing. Oh, well. Enjoy!

    _“I am the crime that will not be forgiven.”_

 

**

 

    Loki awoke with a slight jolt to a rather painful jab to his ribs, which turned out to be Alanis’ tenth attempt to wake him up and stop him from unintentionally suffocating her in his sleep. He released her with a croaky apology and rolled onto his back as she fled the bed to use the bathroom, throwing an arm over his face and letting out a deep sigh as he considered the dream - _Memory. Call it what it is,_ he chastised himself - and it’s meaning. It would be nice, he mused tiredly, if his mind would leave him in peace for a few hours at least.

 

    _Then again, that wouldn’t make for a very good story, would it?_ He snorted softly in bitter amusement.

 

    “What’s so funny?” Alanis asked somewhat foggily as she padded back into the room, trying and failing to rub the sleep from her eyes.

 

    “Mm; I’ll tell you in the morning, maybe,” he replied, shifting a bit to make more room for her as she climbed back into the bed.

 

***

 

    She had turned in her sleep, he discovered when he woke again in the (late) morning; her back was now to his front and one of his hands had inadvertently ended up on her breast, which he hastily moved as soon as he realised it, hoping she was still asleep. She may have been too drunk/tired to argue very much against the sleeping arrangements last night, but that might just be a step too far and she might not believe it had been accidental.

 

    When she did wake up he had managed to convince his body to get out of bed, and she found a glass of water and a few aspirin on the bedside table that she wasted no time in downing before standing and leaving the room, passing by the closed door to the bathroom as she made her way to the kitchen and hearing the shower running. By the time Loki walked into the kitchen she had made them breakfast, which they ate in silence, after which Alanis went to take a shower of her own.

 

    “How much do you remember about last night?” Alanis asked as she tried on a few dresses she found in one of the bedrooms.

 

    “That depends,” Loki replied, eyeing a sunflower-patterned sundress with interest, “How much trouble would I be in either way?”

 

    She laughed, smoothing down the skirt of a turquoise knee-length A-line dress. “That depends,” she echoed, “Would you consider embarrassment ‘trouble’?”

 

    “Oh. That.” He motioned for her to turn with his finger.

 

    She laughed again and obliged, giving a little twirl and coming to a stop facing him. “‘The most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen’, huh? You are quite the charmer, aren’t you?”

 

    “I try.” He eyed her head to toe appraisingly. “Wasn’t entirely wrong, though; you’re _at least_ in the top hundred, and I’ve seen a lot of things in a lot of worlds, so.”

 

    “Flatterer,” she retorted, tossing another dress at him and turning away to try and hide her ensuing blush.

 

    _Oh, please. Is_ that _all it takes?_ If thoughts had eyes to roll...

 

    _Hush. Let me have this._

 

    “I assure you, fair maiden,” he paused briefly as it occurred to him, “I think,” he amended just in case, “I’m quite sincere.”

 

    “Alright, alright, no need to get all dramatic on me,” she laughed.

 

    An answering grin. “But it’s such fun.”

 

    She chuckled, unable to refute that. “So what exactly is the plan here, anyway?”

 

    “I haven’t decided yet,” he shrugged then smirked, “Though it’s interesting you seem to think I’ll include you in it.”

 

    “It’s like you said; I don’t really have anywhere else to be. Why not just tag along with you?”

 

    “It’s not typically the safest - or sanest - thing to do.”

 

    “Neither are, like, half the things I’ve done, and yet here we are.”

 

    That seemed to be the right answer. “Well, first things first; we’re going to need a bag for all of those.”

 

    “‘Those’? I was only going to take this one,” she gestured down to herself.

 

    “Oh, no; you’re taking all of them. Going to need the variety.”

 

    “For what?”

 

    He stood and walked over to her, taking her face in his hands. “Trust me.”

 

    “That seems like a dangerous proposition, but sure.”

 

    “Excellent!” he grinned, grabbed a pair of white-framed sunglasses from the dresser behind her and slipped them over her eyes.

 

***

 

    They walked arm in arm down the street in a new town, Loki having shifted to his female self and wearing the sunflower dress and black sunglasses, looking for someplace to have lunch. She noticed Alanis staring at her and tilted the glasses down enough to send her a questioning look.

 

    “I’m just thinking; I am not nearly as shocked by this,” she gestured vaguely at her, “As I probably should be.”

 

    Loki laughed and nudged her playfully. “That’s a good thing, lovely. Well, good for me in any case; there aren’t exactly an abundance of people who so casually accept this side of me.”

 

    Alanis hummed. “Honestly, it just kind of... makes sense?”

 

    “Mm; methinks you’ve seen stranger things.” She felt her tense slightly in response and patted her hand reassuringly. “Relax, lovely; I’m the last person you need worry about on that front.”

 

    Alanis relaxed again, not entirely sure why she believed her, but she did. _Mistake,_ her mind was quick to put in, but she shushed it.

 

    They found a café that seemed interesting enough and settled on a table in the corner, perusing the menu and ignoring the few stares sent their way by adjacent tables. Once their food arrived, Loki subtly cast a silencing spell around them - she could at least manage that much, dammit - so they could converse in peace.

 

    “If we’re going to travel together until further notice, I’d like to have at least an idea of what it is you’re running from,” Loki began, spearing a cherry tomato on her fork with maybe a little too much relish.

 

    Alanis didn’t reply immediately, busy dousing her walnut and spinach salad with one of the vinaigrettes available. “I told you, my adoptive parents are assholes. Have been since they figured out I wasn’t ‘normal’; they just finally decided to do something about it I couldn’t just evade or play along with.”

 

    “Which was...?”

 

    Alanis sighed then looked her straight in the eyes. “They tried to exorcise me.”

 

    Loki blinked, opened her mouth then closed it and frowned. “Rude,” she finally said.

 

    Alanis snorted then stopped trying to hold back and laughed. “Quite.”

 

    They returned to their food for a while, and Loki added the café to her mental list of places to return to at some point; the sandwich she’d ordered was delicious and the salad wasn’t half bad.

 

    “What about the man with the knife?” it occurred to her, “Just a random psychopath, or...?”

 

    “I wish,” Alanis ruefully replied through a mouthful of her sandwich before swallowing, “Apparently, I could come ‘home’ quietly or not come back at all.”

 

    “Charming. I’m less sorry I killed him now.” She took a sip of her iced tea. “Out of curiosity; what were they trying to exorcise out of you?”

 

    Alanis scoffed softly. “You want a list?”

 

    “I figured,” she grimaced and shook her head disapprovingly, “Some people...”

 

    “What about you?”

 

    “Me? Oh, I’m just running from responsibilities I sort of wanted, at least until they came back to bite me in the form of expectations I literally died to get away from.” She shrugged. “You know; the usual.”

 

    Alanis stared at her for a long moment. “Uh... huh. Well, okay then.” She raised her glass in a toast. “To getting away from shitty expectations?”

 

    Loki raised her glass in response with a smile. “To getting away from shitty expectations.”

 

***

 

    “Hey, do you have any weapons?” Alanis asked suddenly as Loki was trying on a sunhat in the shop they’d wandered into.

 

    “More or less,” she replied absently then turned to her and struck a pose, “What do you think?”

 

    “Nice! What do you mean, ‘more or less’?”

 

    Loki smiled brightly then turned back to check out the other hats. “I mean ‘more or less’. Typically, I was never more than a thought away from any kind of weapon I could think of, but these days my magick is... not the most reliable thing.” She picked up a white cloche hat and put it on Alanis’ head, stepping back to inspect her and nodding, seemingly pleased with the look. “Still, I wouldn’t say I’m defenceless. I never really am.”

 

    “Great!”

 

    “Why?”

 

    “Because either I’m paranoid, or we’re being followed.”

 

    “Oh, that; yes, I know.” She took her hand and pulled her along towards a display of rings, looking them over curiously. “What I don’t know yet is if they’re here for me or you.”

 

    Alanis side-eyed her. “This kind of thing happen to you a lot, I take it?”

 

    Loki chuckled. “It is not a particularly rare occurrence, no. I am, after all, on the run from the ruling powers of Asgardia; they don’t tend to just let that sort of thing go.”

 

    “No, I imagine they would not.” She was very much aware that Loki’s fingers were still locked around her own, and it was doing things to her stomach.

 

    _Oh, for goodness sake, get it together!_ came the exasperated reproach, right on cue, _She’s holding your hand, big deal! It doesn’t have to mean anything._

_Can’t I enjoy anything without you trying to ruin it?_ she retorted in annoyance, _I don’t need it to mean anything; things can just be nice without meaning anything._

 

    “Alanis?” Loki called for what Alanis had a feeling wasn’t the first time, and she looked at her to be met with a faintly concerned expression, “Something wrong?”

 

    “Ah, just lost in thought,” she replied, looking down to hide the embarrassment tinting her cheeks, “You were saying?”

 

    Loki raised an eyebrow but let it go. “I asked how you feel about makeup.”

 

    “I’m pretty ambivalent, honestly. Usually don’t bother, but I could.”

 

    “Wonderful!”

 

    With that she pulled her over to the makeup section, grabbing a basket and beginning to toss things in excitedly, making Alanis wonder if she was about to regret her answer.

**Author's Note:**

> Please comment. Pretty please?


End file.
